So You're Telling Me He's Not A Robot?
by Lexpecto Patronum
Summary: Kaiba is assigned to tutor Joey for one week as a way to make up for missing so much school. But when Joey goes to meet with him, he finds out that Kaiba actually does things that normal people do...like sleeping. You could call it puppyshipping if it pleases you, no longer a one-shot.


So You're Telling Me He's Not A Robot?

* * *

_Grrrr._

That's the sound of me growling after getting the worst news of my life. I was just told that I am to report to Seto Kaiba for studying everyday after school for the whole week. Apparently, that's how I'm supposed to get my grades up and it's how he's going to make up his absences. I tried telling the school counselor he'd only piss me off and that would make things even worse, but the woman laughed and brushed it off.

So there I was, stuck getting tutored by Kaiba. Hell, I would've even preferred _Téa_ and her overly-perfectionist academic ways. That's saying something. Anyhow, I was told that Kaiba was going to take me for two hours in his office, so I groaned as I exited the elevator on the millionth floor of Kaiba Corp. A blonde chick wearing a skimpy skirt-suit was twirling her hair while her green eyes scanned the computer screen. For some reason I doubt that she was doing anything business-related. Maybe it was the way she smirked and giggled every few moments. I approached the desk; the name plate reads 'Ashlee Morgan.' She looked like the kind of girl whose name ends in a double-e instead of an e-y.

"Uh...I'm here to see Kaiba."

She looked at me with a sort of bored expression. "Do you have an appointment?" Her voice implied that she thought I didn't.

"Domino High School thinks I do," I retorted. She pulled up something else on her computer.

"Are you Joey Wheeler?"

"Yes."

The girl waved at the doors. "You can go in." She clicked again and returned to smirking at the screen. Whatever, it's not like I don't know how to operate doors. I sighed and approached the double mahogany doors she'd gestured at and opened them both at the same time for a dramatic effect. Except it didn't work; Kaiba didn't see my fantastic entrance.

Mostly because he was passed out cold on his giant fancy couch. He was flat on his stomach, one arm wrapped around his head and the other arm curving down so his fingers brushed the floor. He was also snoring. It was pretty damn loud, too.

Seriously! And people tell me _I_ snore. Not to mention the fact I never pegged Kaiba for the kind of person who...you know..._sleeps_.

But I'm a pretty compassionate guy, and Rich Boy looked dead tired. So instead of waking him up, I shut the doors quietly behind me, went to sit down at his desk, and pulled out my algebra homework. I hated algebra even more than I hated Kaiba. The more I ran through the problems, the less sense it made, and the more random my answers became. Three plus Confucius times potato squared equals Hawaiian barbecue party cubed times ten.

It seemed legit at the time, anyhow.

I continued at that pace for the next hour and a half, and Kaiba snored throughout that whole time. That's when I realized that I was holding up my end of the bargain, and my hard work and dedication was getting him not only his absences made up, but also a hell of a nap time. I stood up and went to knelt down beside him. There was now a small, steady stream of drool running out of his mouth and dampening the pillow his head rested on. I laughed at him; it was dawning on me that Seto Kaiba might actually be a human.

"Hey, Money Bags, wake up!" I said softly, poking him on the nose. He snorted and swatted my hand away, and kept right on sleeping. I groaned and smacked his shoulder. "_Kaiba_. Get up, you lazy bastard."

His eyes flew open and he immediately scowled at me before wiping his mouth on his sleeve. "Fine. Let's get this over with," he grumbled, pushing himself into a sitting position. I laughed again and swung my backpack over my shoulders as I stood up.

"You're late to the party, Kaiba. I've been getting it over with for the past hour and a half." I gave him my version of a smirk before continuing. "I'll tell the school you helped me this time, but tomorrow you better be ready to do some actual work."

"Wheeler, I do actual work every day of my life. Give me your work and let me see it."

Frickin' Kaiba. I guess being an honest man is both his good point and one of his most annoying ones. I sighed and pulled out my math folder and tossed it at him. By the time he finished looking over it, he looked like he had a major headache. He looked at me with a muted sneer.

"You're an idiot, you know that?"

I shrugged and yanked my wonderful work back from him. "Maybe tomorrow you'll be up to fixing that...literally."

He stood up and went back to his computer. "Whatever makes you feel better, Wheeler. Now if you don't mind, I've got some work to do that isn't a hopeless case."

"Did you know that you snore, Kaiba?" My questioned was answered with a stapler hitting me square in the face.

I should have made a video for the internet when I had the chance.


End file.
